Yummy Wakame

Helping Hands - Monkey Helpers for the Disabled
I used to think this was a spoof site, but its a real charity. The total cost of breeding, training, and placing a monkey helper, with a life span of 30-40 years, is $25,000. In comparison, the cost of preparing a Seeing Eye dog with a 10-year life span is $21,000.

You really have to see this: George and his Helping Hands monkey Gizmo (quicktime movie)

Imaginary Stalker Ex Boyfriend on eBay
Starting bid: US $4.99

Are you tired of your parents/friends teasing you about not having a “special” someone in your life??
Are you bored with your current lifestyle and wish to add some excitement to help pass the time??
WELL… I am offering my services for 1 Month as the FIRST Imaginary Stalker Ex Boyfriend on Ebay!!

My services will include (but may not be limited to):
• Emailing you on a daily basis (or more often if you so choose) and asking you where you’ve been all day and who were you with.
• Mailing you 1 letter per week explaining why we shouldn’t be apart and what could happen if we stay apart much longer.
• “Busting in” on your AIM or Yahoo chat sessions and “flipping out” because your talking to “other guys”. (We will have to set something up to work around each others schedules).
• You will also receive a special Valentines card w/ a letter proclaiming my “love” for you.

Now when people ask “Why don’t you have a boyfriend?”
You can say “Because the last guy I went out with was like a freakin’ Stalker…I am afraid to go through that again.”
They will say “BULLSH*T!!”
Then you whip out those letters and they read them and go “DAMN!!”….nuff said?!

Wow! My new ultimate favourite PC Case!!!!
Swim fishies swim!!!

New USB gadget - USB microscope
Zoom in on stuff - up to 200X

Cait found a real treat guaranteed to crack you up -
Ugly Wedding Dress of the Day.
Seeking out the ugliest wedding dresses in existence, so you don’t have to.

Oil and water do mix!
Australian National University chemistry professor Richard Pashley has discovered a way to mix oil and water, which contradicts the age-old proverb. The secret? - you have to take the gases out of the water first, mainly oxygen and nitrogen. Then oil and water mix spontaneously and stay that way for a long time.

Until the discovery, oil and water could only be mixed with the addition of detergents. Removing the gases was not difficult, and industry had been taking oxygen out of water for many years to make it less corrosive. There are many potential commercial applications, especially for injectable drugs that are now dissolved in water with detergents added that sometimes caused side effects. A US perfume manufacturer which found some customers were allergic to the detergents it used to dissolve its fragrance agents in water is also interested.

What’s a skeedaddlehopper?
(found by k k k kenneth)

A reptile enthusiast investigating a call from a man he thought “had been drinking”, found a metre-long Nile crocodile lazing in the pool of a Pretoria suburb. How the reptile, with razor-sharp teeth, made its way into a residential swimming pool still remains a mystery as they are not indigenous to the Pretoria area.

(The crocodile wind-up toy can be bought here)

Your Chinese Horoscope for 2004
Thanks for this link Ashley

Gong Xi Fa Cai! According to the Chinese Zodiac, it’s the year of the monkey.

“Astrologers predict it will be an extremely progressive, upbeat time, full of exhilirating successes. What’s even better is that it should be a relative breeze. Apparently good old monkey will carry us along with his natural exuberant energy. Be warned though, you may feel the urge to speculate, gamble and explore risky but inventive alternative. Stay on your toes as there could be trickery from the influence of the monkey.” ~ This is Brighton Magazine

Chav Hate Site - whats a chav you ask?
aka Chavs, Neds, Townies, Kevs, Charvers, Steeks, Spides, Bazzas, Yarcos, Ratboys, Kappa Slappers, Skangers, Janners, Stigs, Scallies…

Foul-mouth parrot
The inner thoughts of Britain’s wartime leader Winston Churchill live on, thanks to the foul mouth of his 104-year-old parrot.
“Fuck Hitler! Fuck the Nazis!” says Charlie with a Churchillian inflection.

Man accidentally swallows toothbrush whilst brushing teeth!! - Tanzania

Man kills himself over death of pet fish!!!! - Malaysia

(all links found by kenneth)