In persuit of happiness
I made this discoverly quite a while back but this last week or so I’ve finally felt like I have a grasp on it. I guess its not so new to many people, but its having a profound effect on my life…
Each day, while I’m in the shower or just at random points in the day as it occurs to me, I make a conscious effort to give thanks in appreciation for everything I have, and where I am in life right now. I’ll dwell on each point I remember and savor it for a while. Even if I’m not exactly where I want to be 6 months from now or a lot of things went wrong in the day, there is SO much to be grateful for, and even the point we’re at right now took a lot of hard work and help from others to get to.
When I think about it I really have been blessed with so much. Simply in having my health I already have been blessed with so much more than many people - that in itself is a huge gift that would be like hitting the jackpot for others. But especially in being grateful for the really small things… well my levels of happiness and life satisfaction have skyrocketed. Its such a simple trick.
Just this morning I boiled the kettle for a cup of tea and pulled a dangerously light carton of milk out of the fridge to make the perfect cup. Instead of thinking, “Oh man… I’m going to have to shop AGAIN so soon. I just cant deal with this first thing in the morning.”, which would have been a typical thought in my mind a few weeks ago, I instantly grinned and laughed thinking, “Wow! Just enough for a cup of tea and some oatmeal. That was a close call. I’m so lucky I don’t have to go out in the snow straight after waking up just so I can enjoy this gorgeous steaming cuppa.”
And when I sat back to drink it, it was the most memorable and enjoyable cup of tea I’ve had in a long time, because I actually felt lucky and blessed to be enjoying it just the way I wanted to without any effort involved. But if it had been empty, I’d probably try to not get bummed about it, and along the way to the shops I’d think about how lovely it was to feel the snow crunching under my feet, listening to the warming tunes on my ipod, and having some time to just roam and think for a while with no distractions. And right now I’d be enjoying the fine crunchy pickle I would have purchased had I gone to the store… There is a good side to everything, even if it doesn’t seem apparent at the time.
When things go wrong, instead of feeling powerless and overtaken with all the random crazy things that I’m convinced are going to happen all day, I think about how luckily I escaped something worse, or that someone came to help, or that the day is taking me on some sort of unexpected adventure. And then amazingly, seemingly annoying things stop happening for the rest of the day… or maybe its just that my mind is incapable of noticing them or giving them any relevance at all.
When I first started on the road with this idea I had to really make a conscious effort, take a certain amount of time in the day to recant everything I am grateful for, but now it just flows naturally in the moment. Along with that comes a lovely sense of satisfaction like no other. Its the sort of satisfaction that is private to you in the moment you experience it that no-one else can have, a secret smile will pass across your face and you’ll soon be wondering if this day could get any better. It can transform every aspect of your life in a phenomenal way, even from relationship problems with a spouse who doesn’t appreciate you (yet), to your income problems, to just simply going to bed with a smile on your face instead of crying.
And I have discovered another fringe benefit to this trick - the more I give thanks for, the more blessings I seem to receive, because I am somehow more open to receiving them by being grateful.
And that I believe is why people who win things, always win things when most others never do, people who are rich get richer, and people who are blessed with so much always seem to get so much more. They all started off being grateful for the little things, and they all believed they deserved their blessings. Its a funny little thing in life that seems so unfairly balanced, until you realise you can have it all too. Starting with the first day finding reasons to be grateful for what you already have. Try it, and soon, I guarantee you, you’ll feel like one of the luckiest people on earth.
January 16th, 2008 at 4:58pm
oh honey, that’s just what i needed to read. You don’t know but i was in tears when i started browsing this cos i just split with my boy and it’s just so hard. then i read this and i’m still profoundly sad but now i’m thinking about the good things too. i’m happy about all the lovely times we had and that right hear and now there are so many good things too. quid xx
January 16th, 2008 at 8:24pm
You poor thing! Its a real challenge keeping a positive attitude during a time like this. I so admire you. Just keep dreaming and focusing on what you want and don’t give up, find the courage you need by being thankful for what you already have, and all sorts of amazing things will be attracted into your life.
January 18th, 2008 at 11:30pm
Olivia, I think this is the best thing I have ever read of yours. I once heard a very wise person say: don’t worry about who you are being grateful to…just be grateful. Our time on earth is so short and we need to appreciate every little bit of this gift. Thank you for such an inspiring post.
January 18th, 2008 at 11:54pm
Wow Jonathan… thanks for the huge compliment. Admittedly I nearly didnt post this… due to its length and to an extent, shyness.
January 26th, 2008 at 12:09pm
Wonderful post. I’ve always been that way, but maybe not as consciously as you are now. I’m just a natural Pollyanna type. But, I’m going to try the “give thanks” method. It sounds such a very positive attitude.
January 26th, 2008 at 4:33pm
Great :@) Another thing I’ve sort of added to the mix this week is in situations where I just cant see the bright side and its really bumming me out I, a little bit later I will try to think about a whole bunch of really positive/lucky things going on in my life that I’m grateful for, and by the end of the day my mind seems satisfied with the balance, I start to believe that its just a blip because most of the time things are really going well for me… and I just feel happy.