Crushes on a coworkers might be biological…
Since the mid-1980s, Cindy Hazan, an associate professor of human development at Cornell University in Ithaca, New York, has been looking into why we pair up the way we do. It turns out we long to be close to those close by.
Just as an infant forms a special attachment to his mother or caregiver, adult mates become attached to each other through a similar mechanism, Hazan and her colleagues believe. Attachment helps to secure an infant’s survival; the bond between adults, while not quite so vital, provides the security and reliability they need to thrive.
Whether it’s Mom or your wife-to-be, the presence of your beloved triggers the release of oxytocin, a hormone that induces a state of contentment and stimulates a desire for continued close physical contact. “Proximity is really the core of attachment. Familiar people have a calming, soothing effect on us,” says Hazan. Zookeeper’s logic applies here: Put two members of any species in the same cage, and they are bound to mate.
This scenario is often played out in the cage that is the workplace, where like-minded humans of both sexes are locked up for eight- to 10-hour days. “When you ask someone why he got together with someone else,” Hazan says, “he will never say, ‘Well, she was just hanging around,’ but propinquity is a big factor. When you have repeated contact with someone, your attraction to them increases. If we have evolved to reproduce, then we shouldn’t have to wander around the earth searching for an ideal partner.”