All that you are…

…is all I have ever wanted. I was 20 when I first started dreaming about you. 12 years. I know that this number is no co-incidence. You came to me in dreams and visions constantly. Whoever I was with, wherever I was… sitting around a fire, swimming in the ocean, having drinks with friends. I would see myself standing at the edge of the Grand Canyon, tall and strong, solitary, a lifetime behind me and a larger than lifetime ahead of me, my hair ablaze with the wind. And I would feel you walk up confidently through my past, put your arms around me gently, squeeze me into you and rest your head on me. Your sweet face. You radiate nothing but pure love, just love, into my body. I feel such bliss, such acceptance in that union every time I think of you, us both looking to that bold unknown future together, you following my eyes as I plot the path. I felt you always at my back, always loving me through everything that shaped me before your arrival and everything that would come. When you came to me in these visions while I was sitting somewhere with a partner I loved and wanted to carve out a life with, I would nearly fall apart, because you kept haunting me, kept reminding me that I wanted you. You would come to me every time I cried myself to sleep, promising me it would pass. I wanted you. And I hadn’t even met you. I knew you existed. I knew you were real. I could feel your bubbling, happy, laughing, loving lifeforce all this time. And in the past 2 and a half months I thought of you ever day. I felt everything you were going through, everything you were feeling. I no longer saw visions of you, I felt you. All the time. You are laughing again.

And here you are now, arriving with prophetic timing at the precipice of this huge, looming adventure I’m standing over and above, reviewing the path for this year as I plan to travel so much of it solo. I am standing alone taking in these huge vistas, feeling the wind rush whispers of your arrival through my hair and down my body. I know who you are already. I recognised you immediately. I can hear your footsteps as they grow louder up the path of my past year after year, I can smell your scent on the breeze growing stronger. I am about to feel your arms around me. I am about to meet you for the first time, in 12 years.

This entry was posted by bird on Sunday, January 10th, 2010 at 3:47 pm and is filed under Personal, wildishheart. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.